


It's not safe to come back

by ImaLazyLizard



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Anger, Angst, Chronic Illness, Cole is not the main character, Coughing, Guilt, Hospital, I got a beta reader yall!, Sickness, distanceing, i try doing symbolism, sick, wrote this instead of sleeping last night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaLazyLizard/pseuds/ImaLazyLizard
Summary: The doctor said that his chances aren’t bad. Chances, as if he was gambling. But instead of the chance to win the jackpot, it was the chance to go home, raise his little girl, and to grow old with the love of his life. He had a 60 to 70% chance to do that. Better than a coin flip of a chance of survival.(TW This has chronic illness, and takes place in a hospital)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	It's not safe to come back

Another cough wracked his body, as the nurse took his vitals. She gave him a look but didn’t say anything as she wrote down his condition in his sheets for the doctor. What else could she say that hasn’t already? His friends said he’ll be fine with their biggest smiles, his parents said that they’ll watch his little girl while he and his love watch each other worry. The doctor said that his chances aren’t bad. Chances, as if he was gambling. But instead of the chance to win the jackpot, it was the chance to go home, raise his little girl, and to grow old with the love of his life. He had a 60 to 70% chance to do that. Better than a coin flip of a chance of survival. 

The nurse left her eyes giving a sad smile, leaving him alone. Nothing but his rasping breathing and the sharp beeps of the machine around him. He could never stand the silence, but no one was around to talk. Fumbling with the remote, he turned on the small tv in the corner of the room, a poor quality game show blaring as he took out his book. 

No one was scheduled to visit him, his family trying to decompress at his urging, his friends busy with their own lives, and anyone who wasn’t those two were completely barred from the wing. Which is why he was surprised to see a face he almost didn’t recognize in the doorway. One that hasn’t visited him at all.

“Cole?” He croaked. His friend hated hospitals and has only stayed in touch with texts, and the occasional call.

Cole stood at the doorway, the apprehension of the sight before him obvious. He seemed to be swaying back and forth as he seemed unsure about entering the room.

“Cole. Are you staying?” He said while turning down the tv, but not turning it off. Cole finally stepped into the room and quickly sat in one of the chairs in the corner. He sat there staring at his hands as the figure in the bed stared at him. They both waited for the other to break the silence.

Cole adjusted his mask, the tv show flashed, the only murmur in the room being the shuffling of bodies and the tv host. Until Cole finally cleared his throat, “How are you doing?”

“Ok, I guess. I haven't gotten worse in a while, just the same amount of bull every day.” He gave a small chuckle, trying to relieve the tension. But Cole didn’t respond, so he eventually turned focusing on the tv once again. 

Cole shifted in his seat, he knew that he was mad at him, he had every right to be. Ever since he got sick he distanced himself, he’s seen the decline this disease had on a person, he didn’t want to see that again. So he stayed away, only called and texted, said he was too busy to visit, stopped calling when he couldn’t ignore the tired, croak of sickness on the other end. But he’s here now, guilt overwhelming as he looks at his friend’s face, annoyance barely hidden on hisas the silence dragged on.

He looked awful, dark circles under his dull eyes, his hair cut short and limp, he lost weight and he looked anemic, and his joints looked swollen. He looked so uncomfortable.

“Could you help me out?” Cole snapped to attention as his friend looked at him. “I want to move, I don’t want to call a nurse.” His friend moved his blankets and swung his legs over the edge, holding out his hand.

Taking a moment Cole stood to meet him and offered his arm as support as he got out of the bed. Slightly unsteady he shuffled Cole over to the window. The view was interesting, there was a small picturesque field right outside the window, with flowers blooming and a few animals running around. Which juxtaposed against the dark imposing forest edging the field. It was tall and imposing, it looked like anything could walk out of there. 

They stood there, both refusing to break the silence once again. “I like to look out here when I’m stressed.” He started suddenly, “Or when something comes back negative, or if everything just hurts too much… What do you think lives in those woods?”

Cole hummed in thought, letting his mind wander. The trees seemed to draw his eyes in, begging for him to guess at what they hide. “A bear, a huge bear. There’s more than enough room for him” 

His friend grunted at his answer, “Interesting… Everyone always answers differently...” He said not taking his eyes from the forest.

“What do you think is out there?” Cole asked back, staring at his friend. Worried at how still he was, he seemed enchanted by the view.

His rattled breath fogged the window, “It’s always a dragon, but which dragon always changes. Sometimes I want it to be Ultra Dragon, see that they came home, alive, well… Sometimes, it’s an angry dragon that doesn’t want anything except for that perfect field to burn. Once… once, it was a baby dragon, all alone. It couldn’t even fly….” His body shook with another coughing fit, he stumbled and gasped for breath. Cole caught him, easing his struggling frame onto the chair by the window. His friend continued to cough and gasp, as he tried to push Cole away.

“Jay! Stop, let me help-”

“No! You don't get to-” His coughing cut him off, “...to be gone for months, then come back here-” He wheezed trying to breathe, his small frame shaking, “You don’t get to come back here, and do the bare minimum, so you don’t feel guilty if I die!” Jay was staring Cole down, his blue eyes electrified in his anger.

Cole looked away as he started coughing again, “Jay, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have left you alone. It’s just-”

“Just what? Couldn’t handle watching your friend wither away? So you thought you could hide from it till I got better?” Jay croaked, his voice cracking and shaking, “Well that’s all fine and dandy isn’t it, but I don’t get to do that! I can’t hide from this, Nya can’t. No one has, except for you!" He breathed in and out deeply, "You don’t just get to run away, then come back here all sorry... So why are you here? Did you come back after hearing my chances were better than you thought? Thought it’d be safe to come back?” Jay’s face was contorted in pain, as he started coughing again, horribly deep chest coughs, mixed with gasping breaths. 

Cole stepped forward to help, but Jay swatted him back again. “Jay, please. Let me make it up to you.”

Jay shook his head, as he continued to hack and wheeze. “If you really... wanna help... You’d…. You’d help my family… help our friends…. instead of coming here… coming here and pitying me.” Jay fit was calming down, taking deep breaths as he continued to stare Cole down. “I think- I think you should leave.” Breaking eye contact he went back to staring out the window.

“I’m sorry Jay! Jay!” His friend refused to turn to Cole, staring out into the forest. “I’m...I’m sorry...” He gave up and left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I've had this fic idea stuck in my head for the last week, hopefully by writing it down I will be free!
> 
> Please leave kudos and thoughts, my dudes! 🖖


End file.
